BUT!
The tops were easily cut short or, in my case, folded up; the foot injuries didn’t manifest until after I’d ponied, high-kicked, and hully-gullied the full route; we damn well stayed put and danced through the last verse (despite the MC’s despairing cry, “The parade is three hours long!”); and I had my keys, cash, cards, and camera on me.
Overall, I’m counting the 2007 Mermaid Parade as a win.
EDIT: Adam Savage of MythBusters was this year’s King Neptune? And I didn’t see him?!? *despairing howl*