Tuesday night, I made the acquaintance of Italian criminal mastermind Diabolik, via a Film Forum screening of the eponymous 1968 Mario Bava film starring John Phillip Law (who does things with his eyebrows that The Rock can only dream of). It’s a comic-book movie, and I mean that in both a complimentary and derogatory sense: stylish, action-packed, devoid of logic. Judging from the smell at least one person in the audience had prepped for the film by getting baked, which probably wasn’t a bad call.

Oh, man — has anyone written Captain Jack Harkness in a skintight burglar suit driving a Jaguar E-type? If no, why not? Because, dayum.