The world is lucky I’m not a telekinetic. The mood I’m in now, I could throw a tantrum that’d make Carrie White’s prom night look like a tea party.
Apparently my high score on the Kenexa Prove It! “Power User”-level PowerPoint assessment test “proves” I’m really skilled...at beating that goddamn useless test. It does NOT mean I have THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING CLUE how to use PowerPoint in anything like a real-world situation. This was proved most emphatically by the PowerPoint exam I took this morning in hopes of scoring a job with Merrill Lynch. My performance could be charitably described as catastrophic. Jesus Goddamn Christ, I haven’t scored that badly on anything since the second grade.
After I got home and spent some time curled into a fetal ball and weeping, I called Carolyn, the woman at A.T. Temps who had me take that farce from Kenexa last week and scheduled today’s fiasco. She’d talked with Pat, the woman headhunting for Merrill Lynch, and agreed that judging by today’s performance I need, quote, “A lot of training.” Pity that the waste of coding she put me through last week hadn’t revealed that very helpful piece of knowledge, thereby saving me $4 in subway fares that I could have spent on groceries.