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The Laughing Academy
A Life of Noisy Desperation
"Power User" my rosy ASS 
21st-Mar-2006 06:10 pm
BK - Cannon
The world is lucky I’m not a telekinetic. The mood I’m in now, I could throw a tantrum that’d make Carrie White’s prom night look like a tea party.

Apparently my high score on the Kenexa Prove It! “Power User”-level PowerPoint assessment test “proves” I’m really skilled...at beating that goddamn useless test. It does NOT mean I have THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING CLUE how to use PowerPoint in anything like a real-world situation. This was proved most emphatically by the PowerPoint exam I took this morning in hopes of scoring a job with Merrill Lynch. My performance could be charitably described as catastrophic. Jesus Goddamn Christ, I haven’t scored that badly on anything since the second grade.

After I got home and spent some time curled into a fetal ball and weeping, I called Carolyn, the woman at A.T. Temps who had me take that farce from Kenexa last week and scheduled today’s fiasco. She’d talked with Pat, the woman headhunting for Merrill Lynch, and agreed that judging by today’s performance I need, quote, “A lot of training.” Pity that the waste of coding she put me through last week hadn’t revealed that very helpful piece of knowledge, thereby saving me $4 in subway fares that I could have spent on groceries.
22nd-Mar-2006 01:35 am (UTC)
I know PowerPoint pretty well... If you need help I can show you some stuff.
22nd-Mar-2006 05:33 am (UTC)
Thanks for the offer. Apparently I need someone to teach me damn' near everything. I’ve got PowerPoint on my home computer and poked around a bit, but I’ve never really used it.

The thing about the utterly useless Kenexa "Prove It!" test is that it spoonfeeds you the answers. Like, it asks you to do a task (create a chart) and then supplies you with all the data (here's the Excel table you need), plus you can take as long as you need to do it (though you are timed).

Hopefully the agency can hook me up with some training. Failing that, the NY Public Library offers free lessons.

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