So I’m in the office, checking on my eBay bids (and I wish someone would explain to me why the “More Items You May Like” section of the My eBay page is full of KISS merchandise when I’ve never once searched for it), when I pause, glance at my hands, and realize there are splotches of black...stuff...on them.

Kind of tarry. No detectable odor. I was able to wipe off most of it with a paper napkin.

Where the hell did it come from?!?

It’s like I took a thirty-second trip into David Lynch Land.