June 29th, 2005

Bee

...but at least I have my health!

This conversation happened two days ago, on Monday.

Waiter: Will there be anything else?

Me: [looking at the women sitting two tables over, one of whom is sinking a fork into a large slab of something chocolatey] If I tell you today’s my birthday, will I get cake too?

Waiter: Is it your birthday? Happy birthday! [pointing at empty chair opposite me] So where’s your boyfriend?

Me: I don’t have one at the moment.

Waiter: Oh, no boyfriend? I hope you have fun today anyway.

[A FEW MINUTES LATER THE CAKE ARRIVES, COMPLETE WITH NOVELTY RELIGHTING CANDLE]

Waiter: Here you are. Happy birthday! Have you ever been here before?

Me: No, this is my first time eating here.

Waiter: So, you work nearby? HSBC, perhaps?

Me: Actually, I’m in the process of looking for a job.

Waiter: What kind of work? Office?

Me: Yeah.

Waiter: Well, good luck, and again, happy birthday!

[FOR THE RECORD: YES, I DID LEAVE HIM A TIP. AND THE CHOCOLATE ALMOND CAKE AT THE OYSTER BAR IS TO DIE FOR]