How can you be this bad at reading aloud? How can you still be this bad at it when you've been working here longer than I have?

How can you be unaware that commas and periods are used to indicated pauses?

Why are you incapable of maintaining a consistent volume level?

Why is your ability to focus on the job insufficient to withstand the distraction of people speaking in the next room, or walking past our table -- even people who aren’t to speaking or even looking at us?

To sum up: Why are you so pants?

(And why has the front desk decided I have to proofread with you all day?)